I Was Wrong About Mentorship (And Why You Might Be Too)

This article is part 1 of a 8-part mentorship series I intend to write, inspired by a series of videos I watched on Coach Alex Yeboah Sasu's YouTube channel - Sayinspires.

I used to believe I had everything figured out, or so I thought. To me, life was a straightforward and predictable journey: go to school, land a job, and just before saying "I do," find an older, happily married couple to share the “secret sauce” for surviving the wedding night and dealing with a mother-in-law. In my view, mentorship was merely a "pre-wedding ritual," a box to check alongside "buy a suit" and "book the photographer." Honestly, the term mentorship wasn't even part of my daily vocabulary. I hadn’t heard sermons on it, read books about it, or considered that I needed it for my "boring" everyday life. I thought I was managing just fine on my own. That all changed after I watched the series of videos by Coach Alex Yeboah Sasu, which I referenced earlier. As I listened to him explain what mentorship truly is, I realized I had been navigating a complex world with a blindfold on. I was convinced that as long as I had my Bible and a decent plan, I was all set. I was wrong.

"In my view, mentorship was merely a pre-wedding ritual"

What Exactly Is Mentorship?

In the first episode of the video series, Coach Alex defines mentorship as "a relationship between two people in which a more experienced individual provides guidance, support, and knowledge to a mentee."

Think of mentorship as a bridge. A mentor has already crossed the river you are currently standing in front of; they know where the slippery rocks are and where the water gets deep. As a teacher of English, I often tell my students that you cannot master a language just by reading a dictionary; you need to hear it spoken and see it used in context. Similarly, mentorship provides the "living context" of wisdom. Coach Alex emphasizes that a mentor relies on four key elements to assist a mentee:

1. Their Experiences

2. Their Successes

3. Their Failures

4. Their Pains

Mentorship: "a relationship between two people in which a more experienced individual provides guidance, support, and knowledge to a mentee."

One statement from him shook me: “Don’t learn from personal pain what you can learn from someone else’s pain.” Why waste years making the same mistakes when you can inherit the wisdom of someone who has already been there?

3 Myths We Need to Stop Believing

Before we can grow, we must unlearn the misconceptions we have about mentorship. Here are the three major myths Coach Alex debunked for me:

1. The "Old Wise Man" Myth 

We often think a mentor must be decades older, possibly sporting a white beard like Methuselah. However, wisdom isn't solely about age; it's about experience. For example,  despite Moses being young, he was the one who led the Israelites out of Egypt. Mentorship is about who has the map for the territory you’re entering.

2. The "One and Only" Myth

You don’t need just one mentor for your entire life. While having a primary mentor is beneficial, the Bible encourages seeking a broader perspective.

"For lack of guidance, a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers." Proverbs 11:14 (NIV)

3. The "Waiting to be Chosen" Myth

I used to wait for a mentor to tap me on the shoulder and say, "I want to lead you." But the onus is on the mentee. It takes humility to seek help.

"In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another..."1 Peter 5:5 (NIV)

stop believing these myths

Why You Actually Need a Mentor (The M.E.N.T.O.R. Impact)

Coach Alex introduced a simple acronym to illustrate how mentorship can change your life’s trajectory:

M – Meaningful Connections: A mentor opens doors you might not see. Think of Ruth; because of her connection to Naomi, she was positioned to meet Boaz. Naomi’s guidance transformed a "coincidence" into a divine connection for Ruth, from which she greatly benefited.

E – External Perspective: We all have blind spots and can get stuck in our own heads. A mentor provides a broader perspective. Just as Jethro helped Moses avoid burnout, mentors help us see the big picture and can identify potential challenges before we do.

N – Nothing New Under The Sun: Ecclesiastes 1:9 (NIV) states, "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." Someone has already faced and overcome your current struggle. Coach Alex shared that a mentor once offered him a powerful piece of wisdom that saved his marriage before it even began: "A great marriage is not between two great lovers, but two great forgivers." Hearing that from someone who had already walked the path was more impactful than any textbook.

T – Teaching Moments: Wisdom is often caught rather than explicitly taught. In my classroom, the best lessons arise from life experiences, not just the syllabus. Coach Alex shared that one of John C. Maxwell's books on leadership, where he shared a bit about his health journey, imparted important lessons to him - lessons he would have missed had he not pursued wisdom through his books.

O – Opportunities: Mentors play a crucial role in vouching for you. In Acts 9, the Apostles were initially terrified of Paul, the former persecutor, until Barnabas intervened and endorsed him. This act of mentorship provided Paul with the “stamp of approval” needed in new circles. As stated in Acts 9:27 (NIV), “But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul, on his journey, had seen the Lord…” Without Barnabas's support, Paul’s ministry might never have begun. Similarly, Esther reached the palace because Mordecai guided her.

R – Reinforced in Scripture: We are called to cultivate three levels of relationships: lateral (with peers), downward (with those we mentor), and upward (with those who mentor us). This biblical model van be inferred in passages like 2 Timothy 2:2 and Titus 2. Actually this is what 2 Timothy 2:2 (NIV) says, “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.” This illustrates the "chain of wisdom" that God intended for us.

M.E.N.T.O.R

In conclusion, you don’t have to navigate life alone. Whether you need assistance with goal setting, navigating the pre-marital season, engaging in youth ministry or any other specific help you might need,  mentorship can be a shortcut to wisdom.

While mentors are human and not perfect, finding the right one, guided by the wisdom of God and life’s many experiences, can mean the difference between burning out and breaking through. I encourage you to seek a mentor as you navigate life and stay tuned for subsequent write-ups on this series.